Are You Abusively Avoiding The Free Gifts Of Consciousness?

Well.... This Is Awkward!!! First Awkward is I realize I have not posted anything new for 2015! Oops!

Fair warning, this post may hurt your head and be very confusing. Or will it sound like you? Now mind you things are getting better and easier, I noticed I still kept hitting a wall. "What Is this?" This whole thing came up after 3 nights of listening to the Clearing Issues of Abuse mp3, as well as listening to my own non-Access related Healing Your Relationship With Money Once And For All mp3. First I asked myself "What points of views about money do I still have that I don't know I have that's still getting in my way of things changing faster in my life and having all of me?" I hit PLAY and listened to that while reading my "Access Consciousness" related emails.

The main awkward moment showed up when I logged into my designated "Access" email for "Access Related Stuff" and go through the mass 5000-car-pileup of unread newsletter emails and notice I am on several Certified Facilitators personal lists as well as the main Access Consciousness mailing list and what they sent out mysteriously addressed the exact shit I am/was going through at the time the emails were sent and would have helped changed the shit I was going through at that time faster than the stupid shit I chose to do instead....
......had I bothered to actually read them and/or watch the videos provided and use the tools offered. ... 

hrm....  HOW CUTE IS THAT??? >_< 

So my next question is, are you are going through shit and asking for help and then ignoring / not receiving the help that's showing up and then wondering where the help you asked for is because you have tunnel vision and have concluded the help you are asking for is only going to show up one way?

In my case: I have to PAY for it! What do I mean? I mean I noticed I have the POV that I have to pay $1,000's+ in money for classes and whatnot in order for what I require facilitation with or help with to be worth asking for help with in the first place.

Huh?

Self Value rears its ugly head again! Apparently in order for me to receive I have to first prove I deserve it in the first place. Having money = being valuable. (Didn't I just get over that? Apparently not!) The only things than can help the worthless me is proving I am not worthless by paying money.  And on the flipside that which was gifted to me free was not worth it since I have to pay money in order to receive the gifts fully. I noticed the stuff people gifted me for free I either never listened to or signed up and did not actually attend, or watched it/listened to it once not really paying attention to it or even using the tools in it. There would be a rare occasion where I WOULD watch/listen to something that was a free gift and it would change my whole world (which of course proved my POV was total shit, yet I ran with it anyway). AT THE SAME TIME looking at things I would like to be able to do but can't quite "afford" to do it yet, all the while making sure I either get rid of money so I have "evidence" to use the excuse of "I don't have the money" or deliberately don't create it in the first place to keep me stuck.

I can only receive when I have earned it and prove I am worth being gifted to. I realized I'm one of those people who if $100,000 showed up in my checking account for absolutely no reason would panic and have to question where it came from and what I did to earn it. Or if a paid class was gifted to me, or if someone offered to pay for me or anything of the sort, I would go into "what did I do to deserve this?"

This of course makes it difficult for the Universe to gift to me or surprise and spoil me!
Kinda makes it difficult for the Universe to actually give me what I have been asking for!
I mean, DAMN! How many people have wanted to gift me things and could not as they knew I could not receive it? How many people HAVE gifted me things and I threw it back in their face cause I could not receive it? How many rules and definitions of what receiving is or is not have I created?

Scary Fun Facts About Me (as of February 28th 2014):

• I run my own Bars 99% of the time by both touching my own head and verbal asking them to activate (as I would have to have a reason to deserve receiving it in the first place even if I did pay or trade for it.) And when I do trades the run isn't as dynamic as it could be since somewhere in my world I am still trying to figure out what I did to earn it. To be honest its kinda scary at how skilled I am at running my OWN Bars now I have done it that way for so long. I only took the classes to learn how to do it so I could deliberately NOT have to pay anyone or trade. Cause you know, I have to do it all myself to prove I deserve it in the first place....
• I'm not on the Creative Edge Of Consciousness. I used to be "back in the day" when I was conveniently "testing the system" so to speak that I'm not going to go into. ;) When Gary and Dain did the free month in January I have YET to listen to the replay. I wasn't on the call. Or even the weekly processes. I haven't listened to them. I signed up and never listened to them. I never got to prove how valuable I am by paying for the class! Now if I PAID for it I would probably listen to the audios as there I would be making sure I "used what I paid for." Now I'm sure the January class was awesome, yet somewhere I can't get myself to listen to it because I did not "pay money" for it.
• I don't listen to the Weekly Free Voice America Calls! Gary and Dain do a 100% free Access class every Thursday. There was a time I listened to these devoutly (and my life would not be where I am today if I had not listened to them) as back then four or so years ago I had the POV I had no money and will never have money and this was all I will ever be able to get. When that changed and I started actually paying money for classes I dropped off the free classes and viewed them as "not as valuable" as the ones I paid for. The stupid thing is I PROMOTE these classes every week in my newsletter and don't listen to them myself! WHAT? When I DO on occasion listen to one it knocks my socks off and launches my ass through a wall into a new reality! So what the hell fuck am I not listening to them weekly? Now the associated "Pearls Of Possibilities" monthly club that consists of the verbal processes from the free show I DO listen to and download. Why? I pay $5 a month! I PAY MONEY FOR THEM!
• Dain's Tour Of Consciousness Videos on YouTube? NOPE! Well I may on occasion if its one where Dain is naked in the video as those seem to be easier to actually pay attention to..... AHEM! But for the most part I don't watch every video. And yet on the rare event when I DO watch them the video always is exactly what I require in that moment. Dain has a way of releasing videos that hit nail on the head accurately address whats going on for me and everyone. 
• Relationships and Dating and Sex: Avoid it all like the plague. Have I had boyfriends? Yes, and they all turned out to be abusive disasters as I chose the perfect people who would tell me how much of a worthless pile of shit I am and torture, rape and beat me. So I basically I stay at home where I don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit. Some people think I'm pretty and people check me out, but apparently I don't deserve sex or pleasure or to even be touched with any level of kindness or caring. Besides how can anyone love me if I apparently don't love myself? I always justify it as being happy I don't have to put up with someone else's shit and an easy way to avoid having children and all that overrated "family" bullshit, and might as well learn how to love myself first and learn to be alone and enjoy my own company. In short I basically just hate people. Socializing is pretty useless as everyone shows up with masks on and pretends to be who and what they are not and, one of the things about dating is people try to hard to show me what they think I wanna see to get me to go out with them instead of showing me the beautiful being that they are. Not interested in that. And when I meet someone who actually shows me them with no walls or judgement and has kindness or caring for me I have no idea wtf to do with it as someone who has the point of view I have to do something to deserve it in the first place. It doesn't compute. I go to "What do you want from me?" Of course all this isnt kind to my body AT ALL, which would like to be touched, have sex, play, and have people to talk to. People who do not judge me, have gratitude I am there, believe in me, and have my back. Question is can I, the idiot plugged into this machine (body) learn to receive?
• Free Access Specialty Classes on The Access TV Site: These are full blown intro classes for all the top classes provided by Access for FREE! Do I Watch them? NOPE! Of course if I $paid$ for an access ticket id be on that shit though!!! The Free TV August Events? NOPE! Not once! Damn! What am I missing out on????
 

Despite all this how can I know for myself how to help others like I do everyday? I'm an infinite being am I not? As are you! I tap into how I should have been treated not how I was treated. I remember lifetimes where I was treated with kindness and caring before I for whatever reason decided I could not receive that. Somewhere in my world I forgot that receiving is like breathing. Do I deserve to breathe? No. But we all do it anyway. I forgot that the trees and the plants and animals are there to gift to me. The Universe is always there to gift to me and sometimes it does send me surprise gifts to remind me that its there. Never in the way I think its going to show up. Are there things you have to pay money for? YES. Am I willing to? Yes.

The idea however of "free stuff is worthless" is the biggest mistake however. The stupidest part of it is when people bitch and complain about them not having money and how "there is nothing for free" (when there is) and then when you give them free shit they don't use it anyway! WTF??? I now get why the paid classes are priced as they are as so many people have these same shit POV's as you read above. Monetarily paying for it pretty much guarantees people will actually get off their ass and listen to/use said class or product. BTW you can pretty much get all the core class tools and info in the free classes if you know where to look. Do you have to pay money for the actual class to receive credit for having done them for a license or whatever? Of course! Free stuff psychologically is seen as useless. Well, its not! Well, ok yes there ARE useless free things out there, however what if the majority of them are NOT useless? Are we so callused to having been given so much crap shit free stuff we assume and conclude its ALL that way? Take my Free Peace & Calm mp3 I gift subscribers on my mailing list. From tracking statistics I noticed something startling. 99% of My subscribers so much as even DOWNLOADED my free gift! Much less even listen to it! Why? They monetarily paid me nothing for it! Now the stuff they BUY from me they email me all sorts of gratitude, however they never accepted the free gift I gave them. The mistake people make is that mp3 really IS worth $100 and took a long time to create as did the other 10 mp3's in the collection, and its amazing if you actually USE the damn thing! There is maybe a tiny 1% that actually listens to it and now their lives are getting easier. I suggest to listen everyday for 30 days. Has anyone actually done that yet? A rare few who get it do! Do you? The only free things people actually listen to on my website are the free full listens to my audios because they are PAID audios and supposedly that means they are better than the FREE MP3! Really?

So how many people are REALLY willing to receive? Being able to receive includes everything! Most people who own programs think giving away something for free will make people more likely to sign up and use it. Sometimes that's true but don't assume them to actually USE IT! I already proved my point of view that "free stuff is worthless" as every time I listen to free access stuff things shift and my life gets easier. How much faster would things be if I were willing to receive all gifts from the Universe?

How much faster would things change for YOU if you stopped ignoring Free Gifts that Access Consciousness, me, the Earth, the Universe, God, or ANYONE gifts you? 

Would you be willing to make the demand of yourself and challenge yourself for at least the next 30 days, to listen to and actually USE one free audio, video, or whatever it is that you got or will get in the future from somewhere for free? Doesn't matter what it is, be it a class or free bracelets being gifted at the grocery store.

Would you be willing to take up that challenge? 

Just to see what shows up? Whatever that is or looks like?

Who will you be in 30 days?

If so feel free to start clicking below for a FREE GIFT to get you started. 

But its ok I know you can't do it... :)